Laynee and Larna.

For the first time in a while something sparked my attention in the media. 

I'm a huge believer in propaganda and censorship and I'm well aware that we rarely get the whole truth. 

But this shocking footage disturbed me. 

Maybe because it happened in the town i live. 

Maybe because the girls involved are about my age. 

Maybe i was brought up differently. 

Here is the video that has been circling Face book and the news. 

Here is all the uproar, for those who haven't seen it. 

I am appalled, to say the least. 

In my eyes, there is absolutely NO reason on the face of the planet to be acting this way. 

I don't care what anybody has to say, this is revolting. Faith in the human race fails me and no respectable woman in the history of time would agree with this kind of behaviour. 

These "girls" should be disgraced with themselves, and i can't imagine their families being proud. 

I am ashamed that this is Australian women, and how dare they set that example. 

For instance, the 13 year old girl who filmed this clip? What about all of the younger people on this bus? 

THIS IS NOT  NORMAL. 

Disregarding this behaviour sets and example.

 Believe me, Children who see violence regularly, desensitise. And its not the media for replaying the footage, there should be no footage because there should be no incident like this. 

Love and accept each other, not fight against one another. 

Slander? 

Personally, crossing the line for me, is the people telling these girls to kill or hurt themselves. 

That is too far. 

But, I have no guilt in describing these "young ladies" as scum, slags, white trash, bogans ect... Because that's what they are acting like they wish to be called. 

And these girls had no troubles throwing around their profanities.

TREAT OTHERS HOW YOU WISH TO BE TREATED.

I cannot stress this point enough. 

I will treat people exactly how they treat others. 

If they want to act like rabid animals, they will be treated like it. 

I could write about this for days, this story has really gotten under my gears. 

I mean, the 17 year old robbed a store to pay for a resort last week, she granted bail for that. 

Then she shows up drunk, on a Tuesday, acting like a tool on public transport. 

Who are those girls? 

I thought i was tough at 17 drinking cruisers and sneaking out. 

Not holding people up at knife point and assaulting the public. 

None of my friends were...So when did this even come about? 

Now, id like to mention the man is sitting nearly the whole time. 

Who has been kicked and punched at in the sitting position, against a wall? 

well, I have. 

I can tell you, it sucks. 

There is no defence in this. A cowardly attack. 

 The kick he cops to his side? Ive seen a nearly identical kick end a pregnancy. 

Imagine what that felt like for that frail man? 

 Violence is never OK and i can't wrap my head around women acting this way. 

I expect it from the drunks getting rolled out of the pub at 4am.

Their language is intolerable and racist. 

Im known to drop a swear word, but they have vile mouths. 

Part of their sentencing should be a good wash out with soap... I can recommend my mother to the judge, she does a great job with both bars and liquid soap. 

Speaking of sentencing, What do you girls deserve? 

I believe a formal apology is first in order. 

To the old man, the bus driver and the public. 

For the racial comments, i think they need to experience "real abo land,bro".

 Im sure there are elders who would love to have a chat with you both. 

I personally hope they are banned from surfside buses. 

Should they do jail time? I dont know. Part of my says yes, but jail won't change what did happen and i dont believe it will improve their actions after the come out. 

Ill let the judge decide. 

And ill finish with, If you were a passenger on the bus, what would you have done? 

I would have said something, 100%. 

I probably would have stood in the isle, without actually approaching them and told them to stop and sit down or get off. And i definitely would have been encouraging other to speak up with me. 

I wouldn't be worried about anyone attacking me, but i would defend myself and fight back. 

Ill be very interested to see how this all pans out. 

Let me know what you guys think! :) 

Shoulders, toes and knees, I'm 36 degrees.

A little advice for parents of teenagers.

Im here to give you all some parenting advice. 

Now, i know what your thinking, "Peta, you are NOT a parent, how can you dare tell people how to raise their kids when you dont even have any!".

Well, you see, I was a teenager, not too long ago. 

And I was pretty horrid. 

Its not too long that i dont remember what it was like to be young, but I've grown up enough now to realise how bratty i was.

My parents did the best they could to try to keep me in line, but they made the same mistakes over and over and my rebellion skyrocketed. 

Mistake number 1. 

ANGER. 

My parents used to get so angry with me.

Fire feeds fire and we would end up in screaming matches, slamming doors and throwing things.

More then once my parents have had to pull over because I was about to jump out of the moving car to escape. And more then once have i cut contact for months because I was so angry that my parents were always ANGRY at me. 

If your angry, have a 24 hour cool off period before you confront your teenager about something. 

If that is not possible, take 10 deep breaths, lower your voice, check your body language and start a discusson without placing blame.

If either of you get worked up, walk away and come back to it. 

Mistake number 2. 

PUNISHMENT. 

Punishment almost never works. 

What are you punishing your teenager for? 

Making a bad choice? 

Instead of punishing your teenager for drinking at a party, experimenting with drugs or skipping school, have a chat with them and help them make better choices in the future. 

I know I would have been a lot more responsive to "Peta, we are disappointed that you were drinking at a party and lied, next time if you decide you might like to try alcohol, please speak to us so we can help make sure you are safe" than....

 "Peta! You will not be leaving you room and you can forget about that party next weekend!" 

Ask your teenager WHY he/she is skipping school, listen to them and help them find a solution. 

Teenagers are going to do what they want regardless, try to help them do things safely and without judgement instead of trying to stop them altogether. 

Mistake number 3.

IM YOUR PARENT, NOT YOUR FRIEND. 

This is true for a child, but i really wish my parents were more friendly with me when i was a teenager. 

I didn't feel like i could talk to them about anything really. 

When i wanted piercings at 16, i was told "no" by my old fashioned folks, but went behind their backs anyway. I wished i could have shown my Mum and Dad my ultra cool new belly button piercing, but knew id probably get in trouble, sooo, I hid it. 

I never told my parents about boys i liked or what happened at parties and they didn't like some of my friends... Essentially, they pushed themselves out of the loop. 

Be open and communicate with your teen, get to know their friends and encourage their self expression, which means biting your tongue and

telling them they look lovely in whatever crazy trend they are wearing. 

"Yes Peta, your hair looks great purple!".....

.....not.....

Basically, all I'm saying is, if you want to have a good relationship with your teenager, jump into your time machine, go back to your teen years and remember how you felt. 

Its a confusing enough time already, teenagers are stuck somewhere between child and adult. 

Teenagers are looking for guidance not permission. 

We are capable of making choices and we want our parents to help us make better ones. 

Im just a kid and life is a nightmare!

Things I wish I appreciated more as a kid. 

 

My school teachers. 

I had some lovely ones, but only now do i realise how much they did for me. 

I was a weird kid and teenager. The teachers always kind of understood i didn't quite fit in. I spent many lunchtimes and recesses alone in their classrooms or escaping the war zone playground in their staff rooms. 

I had the same teacher twice, once in a very young grade and again in year 6 and she was the most kind and gentle teacher. I remember her telling me it would get better and always making sure i had a partner in group activities. She was one of those teachers who still hugged her students when they were upset.

 Ms Lawless, your support and kindness got me though more then just primary school, Thank you. 

Food.

I wasn't a fussy eater as a kid, but we all heard it from our parents, "Kids in Africa would love to have that food you are wasting!". 

Little did i know, in 15 years when you are in your 20's and have been eating noodles for a week do you realise how great it is to have home cooked meals and not having to cook or clean. 

My parents cooked nearly every night for us as kids, we always had healthy meals with lots of vegetables. We had lunches made for school everyday and roast on Sundays. I am only thankful for that now. 

Family holidays. 

My parents took us on heaps of little trips, and even once for a road trip around the NSW desert! 

We came to Surfers Paradise for a week long trip before we move here, years later.  My parents would take us to little quirky museums, historical landmarks and for little bush walks. I gained so many experiences from doing and seeing all of these things. But its hard to appreciate being dragged around with your parents and brothers when you are young. 

Having no fashion sense. 

When your a kid, everyone thinks its cute when you come out wearing some crazy outfit with your mums shoes and a cape. When your an adult though, you kind of are forced to be stylish. Now, i have no fashion sense, Im actually hopeless. My style is just a mish-mash of pieces of clothing i once saw and loved. Im one of those people that will only buy something if i absolutely adore it. 

My wardrobe consists of two groups. 

Very basic items, like plain tshirts, singlets, denim shorts, black tights and grey or black cardigans. Then I have heaps of very unique and quirky pieces that Ive found and HAD to buy, like vests, intricate lace skirts, hippy dresses and beautiful patterns. 

I usually pick one thing from each category and hope it works. 

Seeing my Granny and Poppy often. 

As a kid we lived a short drive from my grandparents and used to see them weekly. 

As small children they used to look after us during the day when my parents were both working. I have very fond memories as a child as their house, cooking with Gran and exploring the shed with Poppy. We spent every Christmas with them and they always came to grandparents day at school.

 Now we live 10 hours away and i miss them dearly. They are getting older now, but have always lived in the same house, which my Dad and his siblings all grew up in! 

All of the cousins and I with our Grandparents. 

No stress.

Being a kid is the most carefree time of our lives. We think we are invincible! Anything is possible and tomorrow is another day. There no "real" trouble. Things don't really matter, someone else takes care of it. I miss sleeping well and having no bills. I never realised as a kid that food doesn't just appear and electricity isn't free. Boy troubles was fighting with my brothers and job searching was playing shop keepers. Playing house as a kid did not prepare me at all for this. 

Lack of hormones. 

Ahh, those were the days. 

Before body hair and acne. 

When you could swim everyday of the month. 

Boys? Ew. 

As i used to say, "I will never,ever do THAT!".

.................

I know i havnt posted in ages, but I'm going to try to get back into blogging regularly, I've just been a bit busy these last few weeks. 

x

This is our fate, Im yours.

Dear Other Half,

                         Firstly, there are some things you should probably know about me. So heres your chance to run away! I am hard work and i will drive you up the wall. Im full of difficult questions and touchy subjects. I can't make a plan and stick to it. I can't read maps and my recipes consist of "i guessed".

I don't know if ill have more crappy boyfriends before i decide I've found someone cool enough to be with forever, but as of today and not that i care, Ive had one "real" relationship and it didn't end well. Although I'm glad because i really found what i do and dont want in a partner. I hope I've found a better match this time around.

I need you to make me laugh. As often as possible. I need you to send me texts that make me giggle at work. I need you to leave me cartoon drawings in the cereal box. I need you to pull faces and stick your tounge out. I need you to play pranks on me. I need you to tell me crazy stories. And i need you to laugh.  Not just at me, but at yourself too. We need to laugh together.

Im never going to be super tidy. I like to make mess. It will get cleaned up when I'm ready. Clean it up yourself if it bothers you. What point is cooking a yummy meal and then having it go cold while you do the dishes? Or playing games and having to pack it up before you are sure you are finished with it? Ill always be running late and missing appointments. Learn to live with this chaos.

Sometimes I get incredibly sad for no real reason, its not my fault and its not yours either but you'll feel like you've lost me. I think of these times like a wave, it will peak and wash away. When my ocean is rough, brave the storm and roll with each crashing wave. Don't fight against me or we will both end up hurt. I need you to be calm and understanding. I need you to motivate me on days when i don't want to get up.  Remind me of all of the good things i did that day, even if it was only the dishes. Encourage me to eat something. Tell me i look nice, even if i don't. Give me a big hug and tell me you love me and that you promise.
An hour, a day, a week. However long, please remember my calm will always return and ill be yours again.

Ill always be there for you when you need me too. And if you happen to need me when i need you, we can be there for each other. I will invest my time, money, body and heart into you and nothing will ever exhaust my patience or support for you. Ill face your fears with you and you can tell me anything. I want us to have babies one day, but if life takes us a different direction, you will always be enough for me. You are my family and i will follow you wherever you want to go. I want to see you achieve your dreams and i hope you'll help me achieve mine.

And we will have our disagreements, often. But we will always agree to disagree because you mean more to me then being right. You'll be smug, thinking you have won, but deep down knowing i probably wasn't so wrong. Because you realise even though at first i seem like an airhead, when you get me talking i know a thing or two. I never lost the curiosity of a child, I'm not too proud to ask when i don't know what something is. I will always be learning, and you'll be my teacher at times.

I imagine us growing old together and learning about each other every single day. I imagine the stories we will be able to tell and the memories created together. I think of us ageing and my laugh lines getting deeper and deeper, a reminder of how many times you made me smile. One strand of your hair turning grey for each time i asked you the same question twice.

Maybe I'm a silly girl or totally bat shit crazy, but i honestly believe there is somebody for everybody. Everyone has a soulmate who makes you the most you, you can be. You bring out the best in each other. Whether its a romantic partner, friend, sibling... Everyone has the ability to connect deeply with someone. You run on the same wave length and you resinate together. That is love.

I know we will meet when the time is right,
                                                           Your other half.

Why you gotta be so rude, dont you know im human too?

Hope everyone had a lovely Christmas and New years, i spent mine with good friends and my beautiful family. It was a wonderful way to end a year.

But today im going to talk about something thats been bothering me for a few days.
I was talking to a good friends of mine who had recently moved into my place for a while.
Now, anyone who ha been to my place knows pretty much everything i own is second hand and sometimes little things arnt perfectly working.
My washing machine sometimes cuts out mid cycle, but if you shuffle the washing around it starts up again. My microwave can be tricky and you have to know the right buttons to press, ect ect.
Anyways, he was paying me out about how shitty my stuff is, at first i was laughing because i know my stuff isnt great, then i started getting offended.

6 months ago, my house was my pride and joy. I worked my ass off and saved every extra cent to buy lovely matching wooden furniture, I had lovely matching dinner sets, good quality sheets and a very modern washing machine.
I was still with my ex and i had started building a life for us with expensive, brand new, STUFF.

As we all know, since then my ex and i went separate ways in a messy breakup, in which he stole everything from our unit.
All of my clothes, all of my paperwork, photos, and nearly every piece of furniture i had.
He left me a big old television, a bookshelf and my mattress, and everything else was broken or ruined and had to go to the garbage.
I was devastated. All of my stuff was gone!

I knew i couldn't afford to furnish my place again, so i started asking around.
Beggars cant be choosers, so for everything i have i am thankful.
I posted on line for free unwanted furniture, family and friends gave me what they could and i got by.

My friend was still rambling on about how much his stuff was worth and how much he loved it all.
"But anyone or anything can take it all at anytime! Its just STUFF!" I shook my head and laid back down on the couch my mother found on the side of the road and took home and washed, cleaned, fixed and dragged up my front steps for me.

Then i realised, that was my life lesson in 2013.
Material things mean nothing, you can spend thousands of dollars on stuff, and walk into your own house to find it empty... It happened to me!
Everything is replaceable, and it doesn't matter how much you earn, how much stuff you have, how expensive your car is or how big your house is...
We are all the same when we are stripped bare and our graves will all be 6 feet in the ground one day.
I have the most appreciation for everything i have and i thank everyone who helped me when i needed it, but if i had to walk away from it all again, i could.
It cost my nothing and owes me nothing.

I wish more people could let go of their personal possessions, I had no choice, i was forced, but it is the most empowering thing.
I lost so many personal items that were given to me or id had since childhood, and it really sucked at first, but i feel  lighter now. The ties have been cut and i no longer wish for them back.
It was all just STUFF.

Hope you all have a safe and happy new year x