Maybe I would have been something you'd be good at.

                                                             Some things you may not know about me.                                

1. I was born and spent my childhood in a tiny town called Helensburgh.
2. I have a huge extended family. My Grandfather was one of 19... Imagine all my 2nd and 3rd cousins!
3. My middle name is Rachael. I like it. I like my whole name.
4. My very first job was at McDonalds, I spent nearly 4 years working there.
5. Ive only had one serious relationship, it lasted less then 12 months.
6. I have a black bunny called ThumpaNigga, he liv
es at my parents house.
7. Ive shaved my head twice. Once for charity.
8. My favourate drink is vodka with nearly anything. :P
9. I love a good beer.
10. I have 8 piercing (including my nipple!). I rarely have jewellery in all of them at once though.
11. I don't and have never smoked cigarettes. Ive had a couple of puffs while very drunk, but it just makes me feel sick.
12. My feet are different sizes, my right one being slightly larger.  Finding shoes that fit is horrible because I'm in-between two sizes.
13. I love the song 99 luft balloons, i want it to be played at my funeral.
14. I avoid medication, ill always try natural cures first. Ive never not cleared a headache with lots of water and pressure points.
15. My favourate colour is red.
16. I support the legalisation of cannabis. Im quite passionate about it, i cop judgement all the time for it.
17. My parents nicknamed me Lillian Lumpet as a child, they still call my Lillian or Lilly. My mates also call me Pete. I think Pete is a cool nickname for a girl too.
18. Ive never been overseas.
19. Ive also never seen snow.
20. If i could meet anyone dead or alive, it would be Frida Kahlo, I love her, she is an awesome woman.

There goes anther day, dont suppose ill come out the play.

 This morning we got up early and headed out to the markets with one goal...

To do my Christmas shopping. 

I got a fair few things and didn't spend as much money as i thought. 

Most of my gifts are novelty or jokes, but its the thought that counts... Right?

This is my first year where i have no been living with my parents at Christmas time.

Most years I've woken up, excited to spend the day with my family. Presents are opened and we have a massive lunch. Its a really good time to spend with my family. 

Last year my parents went away and i chose to spend Christmas with my partners family. It was the first time id experienced Christmas with anyone but my own family. Luckily they welcomed me and treated me like i was one of theirs. I still laugh, now that we have broken up that i am in all his families photos from that year- Ooops! 

This year, I'm brings Fez with me as her family lives away and she has no plans. 

We are going to make some food things to take with us- how grown up. 

We will probably head over to my parents late morning-noon, do the family thing and come home for a quiet evening as Fez has to work boxing day. 

What traditions do you have in your family? 

When i lived down the coast as a child, i used to help my Granny make a fruit punch every year, now that we live away, i continue to make it every year. My mum sent me a text saying she has brought all the ingredients for me to prepare... The fruit punch is something i think i will pass down to my own family when i have one. I have very fond childhood memories of it. 

We also do the Christmas crackers and sit around in paper hats telling shitty jokes. 

Its lame, but i love it. 

Ive asked for house stuff again, id love to upgrade some of my things. 

I feel I'm pretty easy to buy for- What about you guys? 

I hope you all enjoy the festivities x 

Totally unrelated photo lol.

Just like i swallowed half my stash. I never, ever wanna crash.

Rock. 

Shard. 

Louis. 

Pipe.

Ice.

Gear. 

Crack. 

Crystal. 

Meth. 

Crystal meth.

Hard drugs are becoming more and more popular in my area, everyone seems to be on the meth pipe smoking ice. Half of the people smoking this combo of drain cleaner and battery acid don't even know what they are smoking.

About this time last year i got caught up with a group of people who were into smoking pipe. Im not talking a dabble here and there, these were hardcore, full time users. This included my then boyfriend which left me confused on what was right or wrong.

But it didn't start off that way, it escalated very quickly, before anyone knew it, the whole group was addicted and frying their brains.

As far as i can tell, the high is pretty shitty. Who wants to stay awake for days on end? And all of the weightloss because you lose your appetite? Plus its expensive, anywhere between $80-$100 a point?! 

No wonder we never seemed to have any money! My partner was spending it all on staying awake for another day, week, month. 

I don't think i saw him sleep for 3 months, his eyes sunk deeper and deeper into his skull and he wasted away to a tiny shadow. Himself, being a dealer, started ripping people off. The violence started and our relationship fell apart. 

Meth had pushed a massive wedge between us. And Meth took over the person i once loved. 

The lies got more and more twisted before i finally decided to get out of there. 

Im not here to brag or show off, but I've been in the thick of it. 

Ive seen $1000's of dollars of top quality gear. 

The seasoned criminals that make and take it. 

Girls who will do anything with anyone for a little bit.

The junkies and addicts. 

Pipes and needles. 

Overdoses. 

More then anyone should ever know about this filth. 

I came from a stable home and good family, my upbringing was normal. 

Ive never been in trouble with the law. 

I dont hang out in the bad part of town. 

The truth is every party, gathering, friend i catch up with, the pipe is mentioned. 

I cringe. If only they knew how dangerous that path can be. 

Once your in, your in. 

The drug laughs as it wraps its claws around you. 

"Just once", you think. 

Don't be so stupid. 

It will make you do things you never thought you would ever do. 

It will twist your head into a vault of lies and paranoia. 

Gear will speak to you in tounges and turn you against everything you love.

You think I'm over reacting? 

No. 

No one ever has their habit under control. 

Once you have a taste, your in its grips. 

It will always hold you.

It may be a week, or it may be 10 years before the ugliness boils to the surface.

Eventually everyone will surrender to the substance.

And Its not hard to get. Just ask around. 

Its time to come down, Australia. 

Put down the ice pipes. 

No more meth heads. 

Enough is enough. 

She got her own thing, thats why i love her.

I feel I'm pretty independent. 

I don't always have all my bases covered, and i sometimes i need help. 

I have my OWN unit, with all of my own things. 

I pay my rent, pay my bills, get myself to and from meetings. 

I buy my groceries and do my laundry. 

If something goes wrong, i fix it. 

I cook and clean and take out my bins. 

I dont rely on anybody but myself. 

Thats a pretty big achievement. 

Today i got myself all worked up and a mess over an overdue electricity bill. 

I was stressing out and in tears because i couldn't afford to pay it today. 

I finally took a few deep breaths, called the company, explained my situation and it was all solved in a few minutes. 

Ive never really had to do that before, I'm showing my age. 

I had to be a proper adult today and rationalise to fix the problem and avoid having my electricity cut off. I started thinking about a recent relationship and how good it was to have someone to fall back on in these situations, I miss having someone else on my team to talk things through with. Sometimes i hate doing it all on my own, but hey, I'm 20, i have all the time in the world to be chained to someone forever. 

After all this drama, Fez decided it was time i got a job, so she wrote me up and resume and helped me apply for a bunch of jobs. (Yay!). I know it sounds terrible, but sometimes i do need someone to just take control and help me sort myself out. You can be as independent as you like, but every once in a while everyone loses grip and needs a hand moving forward. 

On a lighter note, theres a bit of a gathering happening at "the boys house" for one of our friends who is going away. Everyone going is really fun and we went out to buy lots of wine to drink, so I'm looking very forward to drinking and catching up with everyone tonight. It should be excellent fun. :)

I want to feel weightless and that should be enough.

 Body image. 

Young women seems to have this obsession with being perfect.

Magazines are filled with glossy pictures of unrealistic images. 

You turn the t.v on to see flawless people. 

This media brainwashes us into wanting that. 

I guess i was lucky, I remember asking as a child if i was fat, my parents always responded telling me i was "healthy". 

I asked my parents at age 8 if i could have my ears pierced, by my 9th birthday i had proved i was grown up and reasonable enough to have my new piercings and take care of them. Mum took me to pick out a pair of studs (tiny gold hearts which i still have to this day), and to have my ears pierced. 

Most little girls have piercings these days, tiny babies have tiny studs in their ears, I'm glad my parents let me choose... at age 20 i now have 8 piercings!... Much to my parents dismay! 

This positive influence followed me though my preteen years. I was not introduced to makeup, shaving or hair dyes until i was well into my first year of high school when i started complaining of bullying. 

My Mother taught my to shave my legs and brought me some basic foundation and mascara. 

This kept me happy for the next 12 months, until i decided i needed a BRA...

God knows what for, the tiny goosebumbs forming on my chest!?

Once again, dear old mum took me shopping and we picked out a couple of crop top type bras. 

Once again, I'm content for another year or so. 

When i began dying my hair,

Slowly my makeup bag filled, eyeliners, lipsticks and powers,

My first underwire and padded bra!,

My hair would soon be every colour of the rainbow,

A couple more peircings later...

Im 20 and my parents positive influence really shows. 

I hate seeing girls calling their bodies discussing or gross. 

There are things i don't like about my body, in fact, it was harder then i thought to post photos on here of myself in only bra and knickers... I found myself retaking the photos, trying to find sneaky angles, pushing up this, sucking in that. 

But the truth is, there is no part of my I'm disgraced by. 

I wish my tummy was flat and toned. 

My thighs touch when i have my feet together- so sue me! 

My breasts could be a little bigger. 

My bum, rounder.

My skin, clearer. 

My waist, smaller. 

See for yourself...

All of my little imperfections, can you see them? 

You probably can't see all the things i dislike about myself, just like no one else can see yours! 

I can force my body to be different, but staving or spending all my time at the gym isn't worth it to me. 

My body is still healthy and it will never be perfect. 

Im a size 10-12 and i think that is just fine. 

I think every size is FINE, as long as you are happy with yourself and see the bigger picture. 

We are all perfect people- don't let anyone tell you otherwise! 

xx

Two birds of a Feather, and the rest is just whatever.

Fez. 

What a chick. 

She makes me laugh harder then anyone I've ever met. 

She's bat shit crazy, nothing she says really makes sense. 

She's one of the most independent, got her shit together, i do what i want people i know. 

She gives no fucks. 

She's always classy, even when she's wasted, barefoot walking home from clubs. 

She lives on my couch. Seriously. She's just decided she lives here now too. She hasn't been to her own place in weeks! 

She drinks cheap wine from jars and laughs about it. 

She's a total dag, the other day she told me she thinks her toenails are falling off. Lovely. 

She's always down for a good time. 

She can just chill out, she's no effort to entertain. 

Who else would chase me through surfers because i was being a drunken tool? 

She listens, without judgement. 

 She's always coming home with little gifts. 

Who bakes cupcakes at 3am? Us. 

Who colours in and does children's puzzles? Us. 

Who created a room full off pillows and blankets? Us. 

You know when you meet someone and you just click? 

Your on the exact same page and have the same idea of fun. 

Thats us. 

She gets my weird fashion sense and i understand her jokes. 

We can have whole conversations without saying a word. 

The hardest part about this post was picking photos, we just have so many great ones. 

 I think these photos explain our friendship better then any words i can type. 

Everyone deserves a friendship like ours. 

Go be weird with someone. 

Ill hold you tightly and tell you nothing but truth.

Yesterday I went and visited my Best friend from high schools new born.

As i was holding this beautiful little baby, I started thinking- Wow, the hardest thing we ever do, physically and emotionally would be our own birth. 

No one remembers being born, probably because it was so TRAUMATIC! 

You spend nine months safe and warm in the dark with your Mum, then you get shoved into the world, taken from your Mother to be poked and stabbed. 

No wonder newborns sleep so much! 

Anyways, babies! Arnt they cute? Im the worst, i am the cluckiest duck, i just have to see a drool covered tiny person and i melt. I swear my womb explodes. 

But i am SO not ready for my own babies, yet. 

I am so proud of all the young mummies around who try their best and love and look after their babies. 

 Its pretty crazy what us women can do with our bodies, i mean, we literally can grow another person. 

Our boobies suddenly know they need to produce milk to feed. 

Boom, you've got yourself a human maker. And i mean, humans can have LOTS of babies, What about that ladies who had like quintuplets, crazy! 

Im in awe of my friend, I'm so proud to see her as a mother, she is doing perfectly. 

Hide your babies, i might start stealing them and harnessing their cuteness!

Introducing Jethro Peter Rex, 

Your Aunty Peta loves you little dude. xxx

I could watch a sunset on my own.

Things i am thankful for. 

1. My beautiful loving parents, without them i would be nothing. 

2. My family in general, they are all lovely. 

3. Sunny days. 

4. My lifestyle, i love the laid back vibe. 

5. My human rights.

6. My unit, i worked hard for it though. 

7. My friends, They are all great. 

8. Fez, if she was a boy, id be dating her. 

9. Deep bathtubs. 

10. Public transport, centrelink, and medicare. 

11. My health. 

12. High heels. 

13. Freedom of speech. 

14. Humanity. 

15. Music and art. 

16. My country, I'm am so lucky to live in Australia. 

17. Sleep! 

18. Vodka. 

19. Good food and clean water. 

20. A second chance. 

She used to be the sweetest thing.

Q. What do you call a woman who likes sex? 

Q. What do you call a woman who has lots of sex?

Q. What do you call a woman who is employed as a prostitute? 

A. Nothing but her name.

As someone who knows people in the sex industry, it really has become clear to me how easily it is to criticise a woman on her sexuality. 

The label throw around all the time these days. 

Im sure nearly every woman has been called this at some stage.

"Slut."

What makes a woman a slut? 

Ive seen girls be called sluts when they have refused to sleep with someone. 

Ive seen virgin ladies being called sluts. 

Ive seen girls in short shorts be called sluts. For no other reason but their short shorts. 

Whats the difference between slutty and sexy? 

For me, i really think the difference is attitude and standards. 

Its trashy to see chicks who will do anything with anyone, anywhere for nothing. 

Its sexy to leave something for the imagination. The old rule- Chest or legs, never both. 

When I was in a relationship, i realised i dressed differently, just as a respect to my partner. 

I didn't start dressing like a nun or walking about in my knickers or anything drastic.

I was just a little toned down and my style a little less outrageous. 

Now that i am single, I like to dress up and show off. 

Im not ashamed to admit it, male attention is great! 

Theres no better feeling then having your hair and makeup done, sweet outfit and heels and your dancing and someone offers to buy you a drink or wants to dance. 

I don't always accept, but hey, they liked what they saw! 

Instant mood lifter! 

Does that make me a slut? 

I got talking to a sex worker about her job once. 

She was employed by a legal brothel and about my age. 

She explained to me that she provides a service, just like a car mechanic or a beautician. 

She told me how when someone comes in, all of the girls line up in their lingerie and introduce themselves (with alias names). 

Then the guy picks one...or two... of the ladies, they have a chat and work out what will go down, then they go and do it.

The bill has already been paid, times up, goodbye sir. 

She also explained how she could sit around all day and no one comes in or she simply does not get picked in the intros. She would make no money that day.

Why did she choose that job? 

To be honest, I'm not sure. Ill have to ask her. 

We catch up for a drink regularly, shes become a good friend of mine.

She comes to my place and she sits on the floor in a teeshirt and jeans.

She is very open and she makes me laugh till my sides hurt.

Do i dare say it? 

She's just like a NORMAL person. 

But she's a prostitute? 

Yes. 

I don't even think about her job, she's just a cool chick to me. 

But I've seen her be called a slut because of her line of work... And that makes me pretty sad because if you spent 10 minutes talking with her you'd realise how normal she is. Because there are still people who will judge me for even being friends with someone in that industry! 

I think its really time for the world to drop the word slut already. 

We are sexual beings, its in our nature to have and want to have sex.

We were all alive because two people had sex. 

And i think thats kind of beautiful.

Girl in the coin laundry.

Standing in the shower this morning, i was brainstorming what my next post would be about. 

I knew i wanted to share my outlook on life:

"Chill out, roll with it, ride it out." 

Too many people stress themselves to breaking point. 

Nothing is worth that hassle. 

Everything truly does work out in the end. 

But, how do i explain this in blog form? 

Then, I remembered, "RENT IS DUE TODAY!"

Living off centrelink benefits it do-able, but not easy. 

They give you enough to cover the basics, food, rent and medication. 

The rest gets stretched out over phone, electricity, and whatever else you need to live on. 

For me, i barely make ends meet, god forbid if anything breaks or i need something new, i just don't have the savings, i just can't budget anything over $50 in, and even if i try, i might have to wait months to be able to spare the money! 

Today my payment goes into my account. 

I already know that this fortnight its going to be tough, even if I'm stingy, i can barely afford my rent! 

I usually try to throw an extra $20 in with rent so I'm in credit, even though that $20 may have been treat money for myself.

 I remember this and grab my calculator and calendar. 

After many minutes of calculation,

Turns out i am in credit just enough to ease the pressure! 

Relief. 

You see, this happens to me all the time. 

Things always work out. 

Positivity is the key. 

I ask the universe to help me, when i need it. 

I didn't get handed a big packet of money, 

I still was responsible to put away money, 

But for there to be just enough to get me through? 

That means I'm doing something right.